6/18/2013
3:52:38 PM CST
 


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Herb Peabody, The Produce Hunter – Who IS this guy, anyway?

Finding unique fruits and vegetables in far-flung locations around the globe is the specialty of Herb Q. Peabody, known far and wide as “The Produce Hunter.” Armed with his trusty walking stick, Swiss Army knife, snake bite kit, a sizeable supply of ziplock bags, emergency solar blanket and an unlimited travel budget, he searches for strange and delicious commodities in remote corners of the planet. Extreme weather conditions, muddy trails, hostile natives, ferocious beasts and other perils that would dispirit the average man are everyday events in the life of the Produce Hunter.

Peabody assumed this inimitable position last Spring, when executives at FreshPoint Consolidation recognized his exceptional qualifications, special talents and awe-inspiring willingness to fly in the face of common sense.

A world traveler from an early age, Peabody grew up in exotic locations as the son of noted Christian missionary and famed botanist Nigel Cardoon Peabody and his wife, Rosemary Carambola Peabody. (Nigel, as many are aware, was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II for his exemplary service in schooling Pagong natives on the island of Grenada while discovering a unique and valuable strain of Uzbek melons.)

Born on October 31, 1966 in Spokane, Washington, Herb Peabody was educated by his parents throughout their family expeditions. He then returned to his home town in 1984 to attend Gonzaga University, where he was an active member of the chess team, Future Plant Lovers of the Planet, and the Pisa Pi Honor Society. He received a bachelor’s degree in 1989, with a double major in botany and international studies, and a minor in folklore.

After college, he signed on with the Peace Corps and served three years in Bhutan, a small land-locked Himalayan monarchy, helping farmers there increase production of yellow seedless watermelon. His checkered work history subsequently included jobs as a carnival barker, DMV clerk, and waiter in a five-star restaurant until he found his true calling as a produce buyer in 1996.

Peabody soon exhibited exceptional talent in picking produce. Coupled with his penchant for palletizing and a predilection for prickly working conditions, he was prime pick for the Produce Hunter position when it was suddenly envisioned at the company April Fool’s Day picnic. From his first moment on the job, there was no doubt he was destined to become a legend.

Peabody is a member of the Asian Asparagus Alliance, Ginger Growers of Equatorial Guinea, Produce Pundits of America, the Union of Unusual Employment Options and the Royal Cardoon Society. He has served on the board of none of these organizations.

He speaks a smattering of many languages – just enough to get him into trouble, which he does frequently and with aplomb. In his spare time, he enjoys reading, photography, sketching (he’s admittedly lousy at it), playing chess, and studying ancient civilizations.


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